Ep. 39 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing Bert's drinking the night before, during which he sent text messages to Tom and Nadav about the 1972 Miami Dolphins. This prompts a conversation about the best NFL teams of all time. They then discuss Shaq and Charles Barkley's bench press contest, Charles Haley, Nick Cannon's recent controversy, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's Red Table Talk, the celebrity "Responsibility" video, and what celebrities Bert is more famous than.

  • God I am really not loving bert this episode. "Women age out of Hollywood, oh, they're not googling me in a bikini, better get into politics!!" Grossly sexist. "I dont want Leanne putting it out there that the girls don't like me in a speedo" you tell intimate stories about your family all the time??? Its just annoying.

    Clark SvatosClark Svatos3 օր առաջ
  • Maybe get her a used truck from 2016. Still new enough for safety and not new enough for her to feel like a rich kid. That or make her work for half the cost of the vehicle? Maybe that will make her feel more comfortable with the situation? But Bert know that your heart is in the right place as far as wanting to be able to provide properly for your family. Any great dad wants that for their children. And I can't speak for others but I personally feel like your daughters are humble and that also says to me that you and your wife are doing amazing with them both.

    ash lalaash lala5 օր առաջ
  • of course bert liked palm springs

    DaltyDalty7 օր առաջ
  • So Tom is a straight libtard. Slightly surprised. No more two bears I guess. Thanks Tom

    Mr. FulciMr. FulciԱմիս առաջ
  • I love when toms talking about his oldest 😂

    Lindsay HLindsay HԱմիս առաջ
  • Tom is the #dadchamp hands down... Bert is telling us all about how shitty he is and talks about his family nonstop. Does he know this is on AMworlds? Like his daughters can watch this shit lol

    OwlchemyOwlchemyԱմիս առաջ
  • Yeah only white people conquered and brutalized lol

    metalfuk1metalfuk1Ամիս առաջ
  • Burt saying he is more famous than Aaron Paul is hilarious

    floyd rogersfloyd rogersԱմիս առաջ
  • Charles Barkley has fake weights on that vidoe

    floyd rogersfloyd rogersԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert fat

    David ThilenDavid ThilenԱմիս առաջ
  • They ever gunna talk about Chris Delia

    CamCamԱմիս առաջ
  • "Im reading a book" it's an audiobook... sure Bert.

    animagreedanimagreed2 ամիս առաջ
  • Amazing Bert can cry about his wife and daughters talking bad about him on a podcast but he calls his daughters stupid throughout his whole Netflix special

    The Tribal1The Tribal12 ամիս առաջ
  • I brought up my dreams of a second family to my wife did not go well

    Adam BeylAdam Beyl2 ամիս առաջ
  • Jesus christ bert! Can we jst finish your i take responsibility video!

    Nikolaus The 1st Round Earth ShillNikolaus The 1st Round Earth Shill2 ամիս առաջ
  • I can't wait for Covid to be over so this podcast can go back to being funny instead of just "The Bert Therapy Hour".

    Mary CMary C2 ամիս առաջ
  • If u actually watch the full chuck vs shaq lift off they show chuck was using fake weights

    p didsp dids2 ամիս առաջ
  • Bert you need to get Uber I mean cmon

    Makaveli100Makaveli1002 ամիս առաջ
  • “Why do people watch fake teen porn” *opens recent pornhub search of nubile films, and continues to say “I’ve not jerked off much”* I love it 😂😂

    ImyouthcollectiveImyouthcollective2 ամիս առաջ
  • Why isn’t the podcast on Spotify anymore?

    Jordan JoestarJordan Joestar2 ամիս առաջ
  • From the words of the great tk kirkland......... you shouldn't even be fucking unless you got 25k in the bank....🤣🤷🏾‍♂️🤷🏾‍♂️

    Justin SumelandJustin Sumeland2 ամիս առաջ
  • Berts ADD is off the charts and i love it

    Blaine BrownBlaine Brown2 ամիս առաջ
  • This is the foot ball episode

    Nick SilvaNick Silva2 ամիս առաջ
  • The amount of exercise Tom does does just to stay slightly fatter than Bert is amazing!

    Steve HuntSteve Hunt2 ամիս առաջ
  • Can we talk about how Tom’s kid might be a future serial killer like his dad?!

    Mr. Hotdog Shirt GuyMr. Hotdog Shirt Guy2 ամիս առաջ
  • At the end Barkley throws his plate at shaq off his bar and they are fake

    ImRisqi XImRisqi X2 ամիս առաջ
  • Bert we still accept you but you're definitely homosexual

    jay C_wayjay C_way2 ամիս առաջ
  • Omg i knew it ! Fred Savage’s Parents are Randy “Macho Man”Savage and Miss Elizabeth

    Joseph PJoseph P2 ամիս առաջ
  • Cancer Culture ;- } DUDE

    Scott FScott F2 ամիս առաջ
  • Bert: I read a book. Let me tell you the name, it's called Conquerors how the Portuguese.....Conquerors how Portugal...?....It's call Conquerors.

    NightshadeNetworkNightshadeNetwork2 ամիս առաջ
  • That background laughter sounds fake. Like its being really forced and exaggerated

    Adam VivatAdam Vivat2 ամիս առաջ
  • Yay

    Danny PDanny P2 ամիս առաջ
  • During the "I Take Responsibility" video, Bert is acting like an old lady in a movie theater asking "who's that?" about every single person that shows up on the screen.

    Parks PlantParks Plant2 ամիս առաջ
  • Bert, watch Breaking Bad! 🤨🤨🤨

    BirdOfHermes83 D.BirdOfHermes83 D.2 ամիս առաջ
  • I hope Bart and Tom realize at the end the judge throws a fake plate at Shaq, Barkley didn't bench 405 lel

    Logan WilkinsLogan Wilkins2 ամիս առաջ
  • Good to hear the podcast isnt ending!! That really bummed me out. Thanks for clarifying.

    Sheldon SSheldon S2 ամիս առաջ
  • Just skip the set up and get to the fucking and its instantly no longer incest porn. Sheesh what is it amateur hour, their actors.

    Hunter DeskinHunter Deskin2 ամիս առաջ
  • Bunch of sensitive people in this comment section

    Bobby BushauBobby Bushau2 ամիս առաջ
  • The new podcast should be called "2 Brett's on Sapp"....ur welcome

    Eric CarmanEric Carman2 ամիս առաջ
  • Thank god it's not ending!!!! Stupid me for listening to bert!

    Aa KhaleesiAa Khaleesi2 ամիս առաջ
  • why isnt Bret getting exposed to the horrors Dr. Drew has to?

    lieurplelieurple2 ամիս առաջ
  • Berts right, Palm Springs is fucking awesome

    Deving66Deving662 ամիս առաջ
  • Barkley’s weights were fake. They pranked Shaq

    Drizz 9Drizz 92 ամիս առաջ
  • i do like how he shits on those movie stars in the take responsibility video. he makes a good point.

    Underground ReefsUnderground Reefs2 ամիս առաջ
  • The Rock isn't 6'5. He gets taller every time someone talks about his height.

    Rikard StrombergRikard Stromberg2 ամիս առաջ
  • The fact Bert thinks he’s famous is funny

    Alexander KhademiAlexander Khademi2 ամիս առաջ
    • I mean he is so? Whats your google trending level?

      Ethan hEthan hԱմիս առաջ
  • I remember that from inside, I’m pretty sure chuck didn’t actually get 315 it was just for the bit . Pull that up young nadav

    Tyler KreutzerTyler Kreutzer2 ամիս առաջ
  • Bert's latest obsession is cancel culture. I know the next drinking game word.

    DanielDaniel2 ամիս առաջ
  • We like to joke and all, but Bert is honestly gonna fucking *die* if he doesn't change what he's eating and drinking.

    Atlas MarvelAtlas Marvel2 ամիս առաջ
  • That Barkley and Shaq video is fake as Trumps toupee lol Barkley's weights were foam

    DeathMetalJediDeathMetalJedi2 ամիս առաջ
  • Thank god its not ending! But what the F happened with spotify? Can't find YMH 2B1C or anything worth a shit on there!

    painedinkspainedinks2 ամիս առաջ
  • I don't get all the Bert hate. Like yeah it's funny to make fun of him, but it seems like a lot of people genuinely hate him.

    L BurL Bur2 ամիս առաջ
  • Like Georgia feeling that way about the car issue.

    Maria De Lourdes MendozaMaria De Lourdes Mendoza2 ամիս առաջ
  • Washington R-words Timestamp 12:40

    Steven McGillSteven McGill2 ամիս առաջ
  • Glad u all answered my question and prayers not to end this podcast! This is the greatest podcast ever!!!!!!! Ever!!!!!

    Francisco GonzalezFrancisco Gonzalez2 ամիս առաջ
  • I love Bert but it honestly feels like he's spiraling. Started with clinging to this idea of sobriety that wasnt really sobriety and has now seemingly given it up, now he's complaining that he doesn't want his daughters' dislike of some of his "quirks" to be put out there when he airs out A LOT about his family for laughs. Idk, just seems like he's in a weird place right now.

    LuiBCLuiBC2 ամիս առաջ
  • Do the same google trend, but put Will Smith in. even LARGER than Chris D'Elia (in comparison to where they average as well, obviously Will is a larger [popular] icon in entertainment). Hard to say THAT'S cancel culture per say.

    Nick GoadNick Goad2 ամիս առաջ
  • This is class of the highest order gents keep it going 😁

    Life of razorLife of razor2 ամիս առաջ
  • Maybe you guys should finish that Barkley/Shaq weightlifting video...

    Spencer CSpencer C2 ամիս առաջ
  • Bert needs a therapist the man is a narcissist.

    arsewankerbr0arsewankerbr02 ամիս առաջ
  • Bert scattered talking, incoherent mumbling and miss pronunciation of words makes the closed captioning commit suicide.

    Adam ZanziAdam Zanzi2 ամիս առաջ
  • barkley's used fake weights...

    Pedro FernandezPedro Fernandez2 ամիս առաջ
  • Dude Sapp

    Andrew RayAndrew Ray2 ամիս առաջ
  • The Washington R-Words is Bert's funniest intentional moment on this podcast. Beautiful.

    Garrett NewmanGarrett Newman2 ամիս առաջ
  • I love that they both walked away from this podcast thinking Charles Barkley beat Shaq in a bench press competition

    ArcticCatIVArcticCatIV2 ամիս առաջ
  • Bert lacking self awareness is the only reason he hasn't killed himself.

    Matt RussellMatt Russell2 ամիս առաջ
  • These virtue signalling actors make me sick. They call the George Floyd killing an act of hate. They're making it a race thing when there is no proof it was an act of hate. When a black cop kills a black person, black lives matter is silent because it doesn't fit their narrative.

    Good Day MateGood Day Mate2 ամիս առաջ
  • The second half of this felt like a Bert therapy session. Tom is showing Jedi level patience in this episode!

    Spencer LawrenceSpencer Lawrence2 ամիս առաջ
  • Don’t mean to be that guy but pft commenter and big cat from barstool have been saying/using the Washington rwords joke for 3+ Years now...

    Owen BrowningOwen Browning2 ամիս առաջ
  • Why is this not on Spotify anymore?

    Michael DuncanMichael Duncan2 ամիս առաջ
  • The Shaq & Charles video is fake dumbass 😂😂😂😂

    Cruz JohnCruz John2 ամիս առաջ
  • Why did 2B1C & YMH get removed from Spotify ?

    skigh45skigh452 ամիս առաջ
  • What did Tom send Bart to get him so fired up and angry when he was drunk? The emancipation proclamation? Also, super cool to hear that Tom’s nurturing little Dexter’s murderous impulses at home

    SpasmHDSpasmHD2 ամիս առաջ
    • Hey man, we’re off the racist plantation and have moved onto the “Burnt is smelly and fucks dogs” train

      ImGairBairImGairBair19 օր առաջ
  • If Bert could talk literally 75% less, these interactions would be enjoyable to watch.

    Tyler BarnesTyler Barnes2 ամիս առաջ
    • The first couple episodes were great. The one with Bert freestyling was unwatchable. Tom's an enabler though so it's part his fault too.

      Mike SudelaMike Sudela2 ամիս առաջ
  • What happened with Spotify?

    Kyle PaytonKyle Payton2 ամիս առաջ
  • Not real incest? Darnit!

    Kip HebertKip Hebert2 ամիս առաջ
  • Omg finish a fucking story before starting 2 others

    Dwight SchruteDwight Schrute2 ամիս առաջ
  • I would love for Tom to do a podcast like this with a comic that isn't a complete moron.

    Daniel JohnsonDaniel Johnson2 ամիս առաջ
  • "We're gonna have 5 cars cause we don't want to look rich"

    OG SleepwalkerOG Sleepwalker2 ամիս առաջ
  • those laughs in the background are my favorite thing!

    Budiwoyz1Budiwoyz12 ամիս առաջ
  • Uhhh toms brand isn’t cool cars I mean he likes cars but it’s not his Brand. maybe Nazi titty cup porn and butthole tricks , but not cars.

    VirtuosoJo_ AZDZVirtuosoJo_ AZDZ2 ամիս առաջ
  • This and Your Mom's House is gone from Spotify?! Why??

    Kyler VarnellKyler Varnell2 ամիս առաջ
  • Watch “The League” with Mark Duplass

    Seth TurneySeth Turney2 ամիս առաջ
    • Underrated show for sure. Don't sleep on it.

      BrandonBrandon2 ամիս առաջ
  • I’d rather be berts dog than his kid

    pooponaboat2pooponaboat22 ամիս առաջ
  • Am I the only person who's spotify randomly unfollowed the podcast and now the podcast just doesn't exist?

    Josh Acre-HoseinJosh Acre-Hosein2 ամիս առաջ
  • #sellout

    Samuel AnnoyeSamuel Annoye2 ամիս առաջ
  • Bert's hat makes him my least favorite comedian.

    Samuel AnnoyeSamuel Annoye2 ամիս առաջ
  • lmao Bert's face when he's trying to do dick math

    Jake NeubauerJake Neubauer2 ամիս առաջ
  • Two alcoholic hacks

    JoeyrJoeyr2 ամիս առաջ
  • It was a gag!!! Barkley has fake weights..

    glenn jacksonglenn jackson2 ամիս առաջ
  • Are they not rich already, how many ads on every video do they need...

    David YoungDavid Young2 ամիս առաջ
  • God dammit Bert you can be dumb. The bench press video is clearly fake. They’re fake weights

    LukeLuke2 ամիս առաջ
  • Your trainer needs to learn math lol. That is not the amount of sugar. Not even fucking close.

    Mad Mike0082Mad Mike00822 ամիս առաջ
  • Not true!! Barkley was using fake weights!! This is common knowledge guys.

    How To Canna ReviewHow To Canna Review2 ամիս առաջ
  • Anybody else notice that ever since Bert stopped being rascist as a joke, he’s been less careful with what he says when it comes to race

    Joshua GuhlJoshua Guhl2 ամիս առաջ
  • Hey guys, big fan! Im not a certified doctor of actual science.... But it doesn't take an R word to know - drinking cool aid every day = death. fucking stop it Bert its embarrassing. p.s.... glucose and vitamin C have to compete to get into your body.... you aren't getting all that Vitamin C Bert.

    Wandering Souls Association W S AWandering Souls Association W S A2 ամիս առաջ
  • Thank God the show is not ending. Almost had a heart attack last time.

    Bob MBob M2 ամիս առաջ
  • Huge LOL @ bert blaming d'elias predicament on 'cancel culture'. He admitted to being s predatory creep even if he's your golf buddy, nerd.

    Toby RonnieToby Ronnie2 ամիս առաջ
  • Tom: I'm uncomfortable that my 4 year old son is into watching videos where snakes eat other animals. Also Tom: Hey come check out this hilarious video where a guy gets impaled through the chest by a lead pipe. Yeah, wonder where his son's interests come from...

    Adam BeanAdam Bean2 ամիս առաջ
    • That isn't how things work lol

      Adam LacoursiereAdam Lacoursiere16 օր առաջ
  • It sucks 2 bears and your moms house have been taken off of spotify, I enjoyed listening to them at work.

    Mr. SpacelyMr. Spacely2 ամիս առաջ
    • @dick trickle yeah they're not available on spotify anymore

      Mr. SpacelyMr. Spacely2 ամիս առաջ
    • Wait what?!

      dick trickledick trickle2 ամիս առաջ