Ep. 46 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing boy-girl videos. Bert recalls talking to his daughters about them, and his experience with a dom. The Bears also discuss Ellen Degeneres, Hawaii surfer kids, Ron Jeremy, Israeli names, and tennis. Bert reflects on a jetski accident he had with his daughter, and they wrap up by discussing cool Japanese "stop time" movies.

  • Ill be your son from tulsa.

    ashton blandashton bland20 ժամ առաջ
  • Lane splitter helmet

    Screamingeagle1200Screamingeagle120011 օր առաջ
  • Tom's manscape add was good..👍😂

    BoskisBoskis12 օր առաջ
  • A porn star rapping women? Don't they get paid to bang chick's?!

    BirdOfHermes83 D.BirdOfHermes83 D.13 օր առաջ
  • I doubt Brent could even pay someone to put his foot in Their couch! His toes nails are probably multicolored and smell very, very, veeeeeeerrrrryyyyyyy bad! (Because of course. He smells like shit!)

    BirdOfHermes83 D.BirdOfHermes83 D.13 օր առաջ
  • I dont buy any of these "rape" allegations. Most likely whores who had regrets.

    Miss-AnthropyMiss-Anthropy14 օր առաջ
  • Nadav's Google searches literally RUINS the podcast, how he still has a job here must be through sheer sympathy.

    BearBFCBearBFC18 օր առաջ
  • Does anyone know what the video Tom showed Berts called?

    Forrest KauffmanForrest Kauffman23 օր առաջ
  • I would totally be down for a motorcycle helmet party!

    TheWdaytonTheWdayton24 օր առաջ
  • In the beginning I used to love this podcast but I’ve slowly drifted away because I bert always interrupts and I get so pissed about it

    alex ialex i24 օր առաջ
  • These guys are still in “quarantine” ? Lol. God I’m glad I left Cali hah

    Jacob MarxJacob Marx24 օր առաջ
  • The more I watch this the more I get the impression that berts family has no respect for him.

    Alex ColleyAlex Colley26 օր առաջ
  • 32:32

    Harrison ClarkHarrison Clark26 օր առաջ
  • Bert's hat looks like Perdomo Cigars

    BillHicks420BillHicks42029 օր առաջ
  • I’ve never hated Bert so much.

    bssalinas1bssalinas129 օր առաջ
  • I feel like 2 Bears 1 Cave is Bert talking about grand plans to leave and do dumb things, and Tom just encourages him, yet the next week Bert is still there.

    24fretsoffury24fretsoffury29 օր առաջ
  • Why can't Bert use the terms "porn" and "porno" the correct way. You don't buy "a porn". That sounds R worded. You buy "a porno".

    Panic ThreadsPanic Threads29 օր առաջ
  • GOLD.

    C.S HC.S H29 օր առաջ
  • Forgot to blur out the screen around 36:30 LMAO

    Gavin SummersGavin SummersԱմիս առաջ
  • I enjoy how much bert talks, Tom just does this to see how many laughs he have with his best bud. We all have friends or are these friends to someone. I pick Bert any day, ALL DAY!! Sapp out!

    Alec McSherryAlec McSherryԱմիս առաջ
  • For the first podcast from Tom this is probably the worst one I could have chosen

    Isaac RussellIsaac RussellԱմիս առաջ
  • OMG Tom's got the PSG merch! I LOVE IT

    Henry LavinderHenry LavinderԱմիս առաջ
  • I never noticed Toms wiggly Bear finger in the intro till now... 🤣

    Jonathan GuevaraJonathan GuevaraԱմիս առաջ
  • Never underestimate a florida man

    Yasser EssaYasser EssaԱմիս առաջ
  • Great show! wow wow wowowwowow

    OpochtliOpochtliԱմիս առաջ
  • “Now that she’s skinny” .... 🙄

    Jacqueline DugganJacqueline DugganԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert's laugh sounds like a car struggling to start

    ZydorZydorԱմիս առաջ
  • What happened to the podcasts on Spotify wtf

    Jack McCarthyJack McCarthyԱմիս առաջ
  • Anyone else catch Tom's King of Queens joke? Be surprised if any other die hands noticed...

    Adeedee LorAdeedee LorԱմիս առաջ
  • Suggestions for the livestream 2B1C: Tom v Bert drinking contest, Tom v Bert tennis match, and my personal favorite-Tom v Bert rap battle

    Cody LawrenceCody LawrenceԱմիս առաջ
  • Bret knows Russian? He's not as dumb as I thought

    M GleasonM GleasonԱմիս առաջ
  • @43:00 Those are not 50lbs each. They are 50lbs total. 25lbs each I think.

    eddie harmaneddie harmanԱմիս առաջ
  • Did Bort say "We should host the ABN's"? AVN's

    eddie harmaneddie harmanԱմիս առաջ
  • DAMN!!!! Stop with the A hundred percent Bert.

    eddie harmaneddie harmanԱմիս առաջ
  • Why wouldn't you have sex with your fans if you're a comic? If they are in their 20's and they want to have a good time that way and that's what they're into, more power to them. I think you have to know that they are mentally mature and if they are then there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

    eddie harmaneddie harmanԱմիս առաջ
  • Lmao they close with jonesing for pills. I love this show

    ironferretironferretԱմիս առաջ
  • 34:46 the best “a hundred percent”

    David BDavid BԱմիս առաջ
  • Lmao Bert wants Adam Devine to play him

    ironferretironferretԱմիս առաջ
  • 00:38 I think birds whoop is broken lol 🤣🤣😅

    Frankie CuellarFrankie CuellarԱմիս առաջ
  • This podcast should be called: Of Mice and Men

    Ardavan47Ardavan47Ամիս առաջ
  • 34:35

    AuroraAuroraԱմիս առաջ
  • cool guys

    CheddarCheddarԱմիս առաջ
  • Tom and Bert: “Unconditional porn discussion” MJ Meme: “Stop it, Get some Help”

    Edison MedicineEdison MedicineԱմիս առաջ
  • I like to take Xanax and pretend I'm running from Bill Cosby lmfaooooo

    andrew calhounandrew calhounԱմիս առաջ
  • I love it when Bert says something's wrong with him.

    Chris ChoiChris ChoiԱմիս առաջ

    Brian ParkerBrian ParkerԱմիս առաջ
  • Watching two guys scroll through porn hub nothing wrong here. 😂

    Ethan StreetEthan StreetԱմիս առաջ
  • Call berts sport themed porn franchise “The XXX-Games”

    mike rackmike rackԱմիս առաջ
  • “The women in tennis are as good as the men” 😂😂😂😂

    m Cooperm CooperԱմիս առաջ
  • dance off at two bears live???

    Mark PresaccoMark PresaccoԱմիս առաջ
  • Me too’d a mermaid wtf Bert lol

    CorwinCorwinԱմիս առաջ
  • 31:33 Tom was ready to have a good laugh but of course Bert talked over it.

    GGԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert is such a B

    Jonathan XJonathan XԱմիս առաջ
  • Arai helmets all day.

    Phil AnthonyPhil AnthonyԱմիս առաջ
  • Can you edit out Bert's high pitched laugh

    mutfinmutfinԱմիս առաջ
  • Cuckadoodledoo

    Mathew DearbornMathew DearbornԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert probably goes to all the nude beaches

    Mathew DearbornMathew DearbornԱմիս առաջ
  • Ragdoll🤣🤣🤣🤣☠️☠️☠️

    Mathew DearbornMathew DearbornԱմիս առաջ
  • I was thinking wrestle !

    Dope GalDope GalԱմիս առաջ
  • Yo can we get a guest or something? This rusty piss bucket is getting kind full

    Crunchy CrailsCrunchy CrailsԱմիս առաջ
  • 28:24 Tom goes full Cosby

    Dave LettermanDave LettermanԱմիս առաջ
  • the fact that you guys don't clear your history on your phones after using pornhub is a level of comfort I will never ever get to experience.

    Danielle MoynihanDanielle MoynihanԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert, you are out of your fucking mind if you think the top female tennis player has ANY chance against the top male tennis player. There's a lot of deep-rooted issues within you, but this one takes the cake.

    m∆ppy☥m∆ppy☥Ամիս առաջ
  • Walked 7 miles = .8 mile

    Jonathan XJonathan XԱմիս առաջ
  • Run 16 miles ... well run walk 16 miles..... 8 miles

    Jonathan XJonathan XԱմիս առաջ
  • For anyone wondering: Calories Burned from walking 16km at 250 lbs - 1330. Calories consumed in 2 bottles of wine: 1230. So well done Bert, you burned 100 calories in about 5 hours.

    Duncan MarshallDuncan MarshallԱմիս առաջ
  • I’ve seen Tom laugh at crazy shit, but nothing disturbs me more about him than the fact that he says, without sarcasm, that porn calms him down. 😂😂

    Lauren PetersonLauren PetersonԱմիս առաջ
  • 1:19:45 someone sharts... the look on tom's face

    leon blytheleon blytheԱմիս առաջ
  • Insufferable Bert, the waiting implosion.

    Colton BaileyColton BaileyԱմիս առաջ
  • Simona Halep is awesome! Best/my fav women’s tennis player 😍😍!

    Jason The KnighthogJason The KnighthogԱմիս առաջ
  • My favorite part of these podcasts is the web searches

    BoriBoriԱմիս առաջ
  • Guess they edited out the part where Burt goes on rant about how "pedophiles truly can't help it"

    The Tribal1The Tribal1Ամիս առաջ
  • I have been listening to Whitney Houston a LOT lately. Never dissatisfied.

    Juliana BruceJuliana BruceԱմիս առաջ

    Paul HollonPaul HollonԱմիս առաջ
  • Tom asked for helmets so if you are racing at a track like where I am in Willow Springs area you might want some cooling inside the helmet Also carbon fiber is the lightest and strongest so your head wont hurt your neck as your being whirled around the vehicle like a washing machine #1 www.offroadwarehouse.com/product/pyrotect-prosport-carbon-fiber-helmet-carbon-fiber-medium-7062006/Default.aspx?gfid=p64119&source=googleshopping #2 for filming you may want to more clearly show your reactions it also has a mic and headset built in: www.rallymerchandise.eu/product-eng-11501-Stilo-WRC-DES-Carbon-Piuma-Open-Face-Helmet-Snell-FIA.html #3 here is kind of a hybrid option where you can flip up the front of the face cover: www.jegs.com/i/Simpson+Helmets/850/M59LC/10002/-1 ****Because you now have 5 point over the shoulder strap seat belts you want to add (if not already on the left and right sides slightly below and behind the ears) two metal connection pieces for a neck restraint device (sounds kinky) here is the one I have they were included in the kit: www.jimcoracing.com/products/impact-accel-frontal-head-restraint?variant=7222633729&Google%20Shopping&gclid=Cj0KCQjwhvf6BRCkARIsAGl1GGgpi83NYYaRdqKhwfj0NU9eklRjeHDJN5UV-DLjl70d2P7lubAPFXEaAkR_EALw_wcB *** ^^This is important because if you are in a mostly front end collision it will prevent the g force from throwing the wieght of your big dhead (i have one too) too far forward and hurting your neck. if you want side to side protection then you want to install a seat like they have in nascar where there is padding to the left and right of your dome. here is some for shits and gigs : usa.banggood.com/Hunter-Carbon-Fiber-Motorcycle-Full-Face-Helmet-Iron-Warrior-Helmet-Light-DOT-Safety-Certification-High-Quality-p-1700692.html?gmcCountry=US&currency=USD&createTmp=1&ID=3146&cur_warehouse=CN Here is a post apoc covid / fire approved one : www.jegs.com/i/Impact+Racing/534/18015312/10002/-1

    GodsSpeed Brendon RaymonGodsSpeed Brendon RaymonԱմիս առաջ
  • So Georgia looks like Bert and acts like LeeAnn and Ila looks like LeeAnn and acts like Bert

    FlipperTheDeadDolphinFlipperTheDeadDolphinԱմիս առաջ
  • Caught on to this podcast super late. There were 45 episodes out. I started from scratch and now I'm here.. love you guys, both super funny. Nadav needs an assistant for his Google searches. Keep doing you guys, stay safe, be well, and hope to see a live show on the east coast!

    Paul TorresPaul TorresԱմիս առաջ
  • I love how bert doesnt see anything paradoxical about drinking alcohol while "exercising".

    Johnnypt14Johnnypt14Ամիս առաջ
  • The best Jewish name by far is Mordecai. No debate. I wish I can pull that off as a brown guy

    ItsRedPanty NiteItsRedPanty NiteԱմիս առաջ
  • why would i want to know what porn bert likes to watch

    Rita FerreiraRita FerreiraԱմիս առաջ
  • The machine the movie would be amazing😂

    Alisa BilozertchevAlisa BilozertchevԱմիս առաջ
  • Hey guys! Love your content. I am a CrossFit Trainer out in Florida, I’d love to work with Bert on his fitness using similar workouts to the one you guys showed, tailoring each workout to your abilities and building from there! Not asking for anything, would just be an awesome opportunity. I got real excited when Bert said he liked that workout!! My Instagram is @ashot_bala I’d love to hear from you!!

    Hay Quality FitnessHay Quality FitnessԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert was whining about taking a surf board to the beach, then 10 minutes later: "I should buy a jet ski!"

    Steve CossaboomSteve CossaboomԱմիս առաջ
  • Big, fat, uncoordinated bastard falls off a jet ski due to being big, fat, and uncoordinated, and we now have another massively exaggerated story.

    Steve CossaboomSteve CossaboomԱմիս առաջ
  • Hahaaha looks at Maria Sharapova, says her name a few times. Then he reads "Oh, she's Russian!" Bert ... finger on the pulse of names, and where they might be frrom!

    Steve CossaboomSteve CossaboomԱմիս առաջ
  • *Shows surfing video, not one guy is up on a board*. "I think I got up the most!" You did not, Bert. At ... all.

    Steve CossaboomSteve CossaboomԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert, you live next to the ocean, you're in LA. But it's a "pain in the ass" to get to the ocean? You have to get a piece of gear? ONE piece of gear? Drive a bit, and park your car? Go move to Texas with Joe. You're nearly dead.

    Steve CossaboomSteve CossaboomԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert, they have energy to go party after surfing and working out, because they're not 50, fat, and they don't drink WHILE they work out! Or from first thing in the morning. Or during everything you do, all day.

    Steve CossaboomSteve CossaboomԱմիս առաջ
  • And Bert, those guys are not "jacked". The Rock is jacked. These guys are in decent shape. That's it.

    Steve CossaboomSteve CossaboomԱմիս առաջ
    • Some where forsure jacked

      lukegindahouselukegindahouseԱմիս առաջ
  • The surfers: Bert, have you noticed the age of these guys? You are pushing 50. They are in their 20s and early 30s. You idiot.

    Steve CossaboomSteve CossaboomԱմիս առաջ
  • What the hell is wrong with Bert in this? He's like 10x the mess he usually is, can't talk, looks like absolute shit. Like he's legit sick .... so why isn't Tom asking him if he's been tested for Covid? Bert isn't bragging about a huge party bender *** so it's not like he's all hung over ... *** and really, what a lightweight this asshole is. Drinking Bud Light Seltzer, and one or two Coors Light and he's shitfaced? And his bragging about the distances he runs ... is Trump-like. No way he has that 9-month-pregnant gut if he's running 16 miles and walking 7 miles on a treadmill drinking wine ... He's running 16 blocks, maybe. We haven't seen one video proving any of this "distance ran" bullshit.

    Steve CossaboomSteve CossaboomԱմիս առաջ
  • Y'all got any of them helmet recommendations?

    Matt DillonMatt DillonԱմիս առաջ
  • I cried laughing from the first thing bert said

    Stefan DuginskiStefan DuginskiԱմիս առաջ
  • Who the hell is laughing like crazy in the background in EVERY episode

    Richard ColasurdoRichard ColasurdoԱմիս առաջ
  • Tom here’s some helmets that I currently own and would recommend Simpson 629738C Diamondback Carbon Fiber SA2015 Helmet 7 3/8 Stilo ST5 GT ZERO 8860-2018 Carbon Fiber Helmet Arai GP-6RC Auto Racing Helmet SA2015

    turo209turo209Ամիս առաջ
  • Ok. So the under the ball shot is the most miserable for them, and for me, why cant we just stop this.

    Samuel MonsalveSamuel MonsalveԱմիս առաջ
  • “Body weight stuff looks aggressive” 😂 watch out for that trainer Bret Christals

    ftrejo7ftrejo7Ամիս առաջ
  • I really wish someone would kick Berts ass. Please

    Jonathan XJonathan XԱմիս առաջ
  • This would be just as good if Bert was 100% muted.

    Jonathan XJonathan XԱմիս առաջ
  • please give my podcast a listen 'From the Scratches Podcast' we get drunk and talk shit, it's pretty funny stuff. Thank you and sorry for the spam :) goes down well with a gallon of Kool Aid

    BillsonBillsonԱմիս առաջ