Ep. 44 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

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Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer start off this episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave by discussing how coronavirus has changed people. They move on to talking about Bert's gross habits, and call Ari Shaffir to find out the point in the day at which he brushes his teeth. Tom and Bert also discuss who they would invite on a celebrity guys trip. Potential candidates include Russell Crowe, Denzel Washington, Shia Labeouf, Bill Clinton, Charles Barkley, and Mike Tyson. This leads them into talking about how weird Joe Pesci looks now. They wrap up by discussing Post Malone's appearance on the Joe Rogan Experience.

  • I brush my teeth in the morning, eat, drink my coffee then do my floss and mouthwash so it washes off all that extra shit.

    Jimmy WoodJimmy Wood2 օր առաջ
  • Burnt said Nazi food at 12:50. Exposed!

    Tristan HaukTristan Hauk9 օր առաջ
  • How was Ron White not on their list?

    Paydn DavisPaydn Davis15 օր առաջ
  • Bert can't read

    Colin DeGraziaColin DeGrazia18 օր առաջ
  • Jennifer Aniston actually voiced a character on South Park for Season 3 Episode 1, "Rainforest Shmainforest".

    Turd BurglerTurd Burgler18 օր առաջ
  • Nadav's Google searches literally RUINS the podcast, how he still has a job here must be through sheer sympathy.

    BearBFCBearBFC18 օր առաջ
  • Bert is just an overweight alcoholic that should have never got famous. He’s like the really annoying guy at a party.

    Robert ScruggsRobert Scruggs19 օր առաջ
  • Dude, can you guys give Bert a fucking break? This guy is a closet genius. Respect that. Sure, he's fucking insane and disgusting, but most of you are too. He's just upfront with it all.

    CarlCarl19 օր առաջ
  • Not to chime in, but what about Henry Rollins and Woody Harrelson for the trip?

    C. RichterC. Richter19 օր առաջ
  • Four guys that don't know how to use the internet..

    Crazy SniffableCrazy Sniffable20 օր առաջ
  • I just straight up love you guys!...don't you guys need a non famous person? I nominate me!

    TravisTravis22 օր առաջ
  • I realized when they were picking their friends for the guy's trip to the wilderness it was like a subtle nod to the upcoming Netflix show that hadn't been previewed yet.

    Kerry McCollumKerry McCollum22 օր առաջ
  • Guys trip patriarch : Christopher Walken

    TellMeRUABadFish2TellMeRUABadFish227 օր առաջ
  • I feel bad for Tom every episode. Poor guy.

    MariaMaria28 օր առաջ
  • when has bert ever been right on a pronounceation of a word lol never

    topher cabbatopher cabba29 օր առաջ
  • I wear Mack Weldon chonies. Very comfy. Even after 2 years. My chick steals them.

    Devil Doc GDevil Doc GԱմիս առաջ
  • Booger eaters make me sick

    Will WintersWill WintersԱմիս առաջ
  • These guys are doing a serious diservice to their guys trip by not bringing Leonardo dicaprio.

    JanckeriswatchingyouJanckeriswatchingyouԱմիս առաջ
  • Why the fuck isn’t Joe Rogan invited

    C_ CarrawayC_ CarrawayԱմիս առաջ
  • Vert has to donate his brain to science

    C_ CarrawayC_ CarrawayԱմիս առաջ
    • Bert*

      C_ CarrawayC_ CarrawayԱմիս առաջ
  • "Me, you, and 8 other dudes" - Bert Kreischer

    Obidiah GoldshekelsteinovitzObidiah GoldshekelsteinovitzԱմիս առաջ
  • Tom's assessment of Burnt being disgusting if correct, but it would hold more weight if Tom didn't belch loudly into the microphone on every podcast he does.

    Stephen JenkinsStephen JenkinsԱմիս առաջ
  • Fuuuuck Bart is one of the most annoying human beings in a podcast setting. Dude is fully tik tocked and has an amazing irrevocable love for himself

    Michael ThompsonMichael ThompsonԱմիս առաջ
  • Slightly annoyed with this podcast, not gonna lie.

    Sheldon SSheldon SԱմիս առաջ
  • So bert definitely has a crush on whitney right?

    James FarnanJames FarnanԱմիս առաջ
  • Half and half? It's more like 1/20 that can backtrace in their mind and figure out what Bert was trying to say along his metaphysical detours from the point.

    Steven BeaumontSteven BeaumontԱմիս առաջ
  • Is Nadov deliberately bad at googling things?

    Halry1Halry1Ամիս առաջ
  • Bert is 47 years old and is saying he doesn’t flush after using the bathroom

    Henry VelazquezHenry VelazquezԱմիս առաջ
  • Does anyone know when the last good episode was?

    Jordan RussellJordan RussellԱմիս առաջ
  • Is Bert clinically insane??

    The Outdoor DudeThe Outdoor DudeԱմիս առաջ
  • joey Diaz would have to be on the list now he would be funny dragging up a mountain with you every day of the week

    Wayne MWayne MԱմիս առաջ
  • How dare u vote Tyson off!

    Landon CavenderLandon CavenderԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert is the living embodiment of a drunk idea.

    Super_tramp_142Super_tramp_142Ամիս առաջ
  • I hate to tell Bert hes right lol but when he said that Tom's the girl and hes the guy....in my marriage that is 100% accurate

    Beth BuckinghamBeth BuckinghamԱմիս առաջ
  • Jesus I thought it was just me, but these comments echo exactly how I've come to feel about Bert. I've never enjoyed his comedy, but he was fun on podcasts. But holy shit I literally had to stop listening because at this point, he just makes my fucking skin crawl.

    JDeeEllJDeeEllԱմիս առաջ
  • Progressive is now the wrong side of history.

    animagreedanimagreedԱմիս առաջ
  • What the fuck is this episode

    Rich WellRich WellԱմիս առաջ
  • My wife is like that. A creature of habit. You cannot teach her or have her be made aware of anything new or different.

    animagreedanimagreedԱմիս առաջ
  • 3:40 is everything the comments are complaining about.

    Kenan MilhamKenan MilhamԱմիս առաջ
  • No idea why all the comments are negative, this episode was as good as any! Bert's awesome!

    RusinsRusinsԱմիս առաջ
  • This episode was trash

    CaptainNovaCaptainNovaԱմիս առաջ
  • I dont get why ppl are complaining about this

    Maggot13159Maggot13159Ամիս առաջ
  • I don't get the comments. It's fun watching Bert spiral into madness

    RahulRahulԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert gets real annoying when hes buzzin

    ajpatino99ajpatino99Ամիս առաջ
  • Jen Aniston is applying for a concealed weapons permit.

    jena 1njena 1nԱմիս առաջ
  • I'm gonna become a Scottish lord and build a tiny castle on my 1 square foot of land

    The AbortionThe AbortionԱմիս առաջ
  • Timestamp 16:00 this woman died free diving because she was likely suffering from nitrogen narcosis at that depth. She was unknowingly disoriented by the time she got to the bottom, broke her order of operations, and forgot to activate the floatation device because she was effectively drunk from the nitrogen.

    Dominic TringaliDominic TringaliԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert lost me with the freediver/not flushing thing.....at first.....but he had me by the end

    Grewe BearGrewe BearԱմիս առաջ
  • This pod would improve immediately if there was an effort to stop making everything a game. 'no wait let's guess his age', 'let's make a boys trip for 30 mins', ooof c'mon guys. The trips to fantasy land aren't entertaining

    M JM JԱմիս առաջ
  • Jesus what's with all the bert haters? I mean you either fuck with his style or you don't. He's always been this way. If you don't find it funny or entertaining you can just go watch someone who fits your sense of humor better. It's like you all think complaining will somehow make him change his personality. Fix your brains people

    ShaneTweezyShaneTweezyԱմիս առաջ
  • Dude Mike Tyson would take that party to a whole new level. Yall fucked up dropping him!

    ShaneTweezyShaneTweezyԱմիս առաջ
  • Fat celebs for the boys weekend and jack black never got a look in 😂😂

    Gav HGav HԱմիս առաջ
  • Dude, has to be Samuel L. Jackson on the trip fellas

    curtis lowecurtis loweԱմիս առաջ
  • Yeaaa Bert has hit a new level of stupid in this one.

    zacharydonnachie1zacharydonnachie1Ամիս առաջ
  • The first episode they did after Bert returned from tour he was much more calm and coherent (for being Brent) staying home and not doing stand up makes him insufferable. Leave your house Burt!

    Nicke AnderssonNicke AnderssonԱմիս առաջ
  • Berts scared of going to the grocery store and disease but eats his boogers and showers in the pool?... He is a strange sacred soul

    Justin DolecekJustin DolecekԱմիս առաջ
  • What kind of absolute lunatic lets an absolute stranger on a streetcorner jam a 10-inch steel needle into their ear hole?

    Glen HoddinottGlen HoddinottԱմիս առաջ
  • bert: buy my flipflops , mugs , send me money paypal, venmo i will b at walmart parking lot shows this fall the bert falling career tour

    terry winstonterry winstonԱմիս առաջ
  • For their trip I’m thinking Zach Galifankis and Peter Dinklage would be a great addition to the crew

    youenjoymyself?youenjoymyself?Ամիս առաջ
  • I'm used to being grossed out by YMH but Bert explaining that he eats his boogers took it to another level. 🤮🤣

    Lapse Of TimeLapse Of TimeԱմիս առաջ
  • Love watching Tom's face while listening to Bert. Cracks me up every time.

    SavanaSavanaԱմիս առաջ
  • Nick Offerman to take on your camping trip...he the ultimate outdoorsman, plus funny wit & loves whiskey

    Lauren FarrellLauren FarrellԱմիս առաջ
  • You would think all the people that cry about having to watch Bert like its the end of the world would just watch Tom's other podcasts instead of whining in the comments every episode... Go watch something else, the negativity is getting old....

    Reilly BurgunderReilly BurgunderԱմիս առաջ
    • What’s the name of that podcast?

      Legend DairyLegend DairyԱմիս առաջ
  • Don’t know if I can keep watching these... Bert is increasingly pathetic, stupid and infuriating. He’s like that child that constantly needs attention and interrupts mixed with an alcoholic that thinks he’s smart but as soon as he starts talking you realize he’s incapable of critical thinking. I feel bad for Tom, it’s getting pretty obvious they aren’t as close as they seem. Bert didn’t even know Tom had siblings...??? Maybe Bert is just that bad of a friend

    Darkness MotoDarkness MotoԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert “hear me out” Kreischer

    ConmemeConmemeԱմիս առաջ
  • This was great, sooooo stupid

    S FS FԱմիս առաջ
  • In Bert's defense when I got a new belt that wasn't just a tug and it's on I kept forgetting to do up my fly. You know how many times I'd look down in public and go oh shit! And I attributed it to the new belt. Eventually I just went back to the old belt.

    Den MDen MԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert pulled a joe Biden a couple times in this🤣🤣

    Richard SharpeRichard SharpeԱմիս առաջ
  • Gotta have Sam Elliot on a trip like that

    Alex JordanAlex JordanԱմիս առաջ
  • Love ya Bert, but it's definitely at least 95% 5% on the dynamic split. You yourself have said you're suffering from severe anxiety (which I relate to) but also just a sprinkle of a couple of other things. I think those things might be playing a bigger role than you think.

    MegadethTillDethMegadethTillDethԱմիս առաջ
  • Hey bro's why isn't this shit on Spotify anymore?

    Angel MandujanoAngel MandujanoԱմիս առաջ
  • Surprised Tom didn't want his buddy Ed asner coming

    The HunchburglerThe HunchburglerԱմիս առաջ
  • 34:48 Bert tries to use the word "meta" again

    Derek KeenanDerek KeenanԱմիս առաջ
  • This is honestly my favorite podcast right now

    Riley OardRiley OardԱմիս առաջ
  • I used to take up for Nadav. But now he even agrees he sucks at Googling. #HesNoYoungJamie

    Rich BanksRich BanksԱմիս առաջ
  • Tom and bert better get Warren on soon because holy shit it's getting hard to ignore how shitty bert is lol

    Trey ArmstrongTrey ArmstrongԱմիս առաջ
  • Is this a podcast or therapy hour for Brent Crystals...? Tom should charge him

    Steve RSteve RԱմիս առաջ
  • I think Bert sounds like Trump. Chrysler 2024

    StevenStevenԱմիս առաջ
  • I remember the 10th episode where I still liked Bert. Seems like a lifetime ago.......

    John HealyJohn HealyԱմիս առաջ
  • Neil DeGrasse Tyson. He hits the older guy category, can hold a convo, is interesting and can party.

    Evan FitzgeraldEvan FitzgeraldԱմիս առաջ
  • Surprised they didn't think of jak black

    syndicate losyndicate loԱմիս առաջ
  • Nahh Bert is right. Boogers are nice, salty treats from the body

    The Urban SuburbanThe Urban SuburbanԱմիս առաջ
  • I'm genuinely getting to the point where I hate bert. He is type O blood but makes his wife go to the store? 3 or 4 years ago it was fun to make fun of bert for being a pussy and now it's just sad.

    IRLtrollsIRLtrollsԱմիս առաջ
  • Part of me thinks Tom enjoys the spiral of Bert.

    Drake PryceDrake PryceԱմիս առաջ
  • Remember when they thought about trying cocaine on the show? Bert hasn't shut up in over a month, did you guys find some booger sugar? Remind Bert that he's a CO host

    BigWaveBigWaveԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert is already a trash bag of a person so it is just dumb to see him and Tom on a podcast. I don’t think Joe was serious when he said anyone can do what he does. This is just 🙄

    strange logicstrange logicԱմիս առաջ
  • There’s no way a horse could run 55 mph with Bret riding.

    Brice kellyBrice kellyԱմիս առաջ
  • my understanding is that bruce willis is a legendary asshole in hollywood.

    J BurnettJ BurnettԱմիս առաջ
  • That roach bar thing is so disgusting I couldn't finish my anchovie pizza last night. Still fucking with my head. Bert you Dick.

    Jacob JamesJacob JamesԱմիս առաջ
  • This comment section feels like tfatk and Bert is Brenden ...

    Susana SunshineSusana SunshineԱմիս առաջ
  • I’ve tried watching this episode 3 times while I’m blasted but only remember 10 minutes at a time and it’s like a new episode every time I put it back on which is amazing

    Matthew HarrisMatthew HarrisԱմիս առաջ
  • If it's yellow let it mellow. If it's brown flush it down.

    Brandon RutledgeBrandon RutledgeԱմիս առաջ
  • Tom just sits back an has a beer, while Bert just makes an ass out of himself. Stacking cash.

    Star LordStar LordԱմիս առաջ
  • This was a rough one

    Nick CustadioNick CustadioԱմիս առաջ
  • Bless Lord Tom and all his contributions, every Monday, to mental health charities.

    Layne A. JohnsonLayne A. JohnsonԱմիս առաջ
  • Bert is right and he's probably also right that the audience is 50/50

    Hayden BakerHayden BakerԱմիս առաջ
  • My dad was in so many ways like Bert. He was jovial and loved to talk to everyone and make them laugh. He was also an alcoholic who could get crazy. The more stories that Bert reveals about himself remind us of my dad. All my mom can think about is what Leann must go thru. She’s always says “That poor woman.” 😆

    HTownShannaHTownShannaԱմիս առաջ
  • I bet Burt shoves his finger in ass then picks his nose and then eats it lol

    Kenny LewisKenny LewisԱմիս առաջ
  • Rinella 100% on the trip

    TheFutureman 85TheFutureman 85Ամիս առաջ
  • New to the podcast. Can somebody explain the bert hate? He seems alright

    djangus brownstonedjangus brownstoneԱմիս առաջ